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... sEtanQ jOurnaL ...
Thursday, 23 June 2005








Posted by setanq at 17:14 JST
Thursday, 16 June 2005
bLank
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: sinCe u'vE bEen gOne - keLLy cLarksOn

Yooo...I'm bLank.
Soo...can't write anything...
Have a good day...

Posted by setanq at 17:15 JST
Tuesday, 31 May 2005
THE CONTENDER
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: iF i ain'T gOt u - aLicia key
Topic: THE CONTENDER
Here's some pHoto of THE CONTENDER's participants :


THE WEST




ALFONSO GOMEZ JR




ALFONSO 'THE BULLET' BONSANTE




JESSE LEE BRINKLY




ISHE 'SUGAR SHAY' SMITH




JOEY GILBERT




MIGUEL ESPINO




SERGIO 'THE LATIN SNAKE'MORA




TARICK 'THE ARABIAN PRINCE' SALMACI



THE EAST




AHMED 'BABY FACE' KADDOUR




BRENT 'THE DISCIPLE' COOPER




JEFF 'THE HELL RAZA' FRAZA




JIMMY LANGE




JONATHAN 'REID DAWG' REID




JUAN 'EL GALLO NEGRO' DE LA ROSSA




PETER MANFREDO JR




NAJAI 'NITRO' TURPIN



Posted by setanq at 10:27 JST
Updated: Tuesday, 31 May 2005 10:34 JST
Monday, 30 May 2005
Weekend
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: anGGuk2 geLeng2 - ahLi fiQir
Yoooo!!!! So, okay. How was my weekend??? It was... urm...quite boring. I spend my time dari pagi sampai petang, kemas bilik n merajuk [ abg tak call n sms kejap2 ]... and well, sleep. Itu je La... didn't even went out to town or out of the house.

Hm..n Last nite, while waiting for Akademi Fantasia to start, I was doing some crazy stuff in my room. Well, actually, later tht eve, I put up some posters up my room wall. Some FinaL Fan tasy poter yang aku dah Lama turunkan atas sebab2 tertentu but biLa nampak poster2 tu semaLam, aku teringin Lak nak letak baLik kat dinding. But...malamnya, poster2 tu sumer macam hidup segan mati tak mau je kat dinding, I get fed up wit it so, aku turunkan semuLa la.

And...well, masih ada 2 hours to go. aku sms abg... dia kejap2 rep so, makin boring La aku. Then I did some stretching... 90' kat dinding. Mannn it was hard. Masih dapat lurus but yeahhh... my muscle was in pain. So, aku buat warm up sket2 and finally I ended up buat some crazy dancing muahahaha...

I stopped and do some push up and sit up... wargghhh!!! Makin lama makin lemak lak badan ni. I onLy manage do 30 push ups and 15 sit ups... wht do u know... badan dah manja sangat....it sux...

apa aku bebeL ni ekh... hm... well... I was sssooo bored...

Yoo...hampir aku terlupa. Contender THE FINALE was last nite. Mannn!!!! I'm so frstrated Jesse tak dapat pertahankan even tempat Bronze... and yang lebih teruk, Manfredo lost the match n... The Latin Snake won. It sux...

Actually, it's obvious..dari muLa dah nampak Manfredo cuma bertahan and tak kasi sangat penumbuk dia tu... and hahahah can see from Sergio's face that dia tak seLesa asyik kat corner so, once in a while, he manage to let go and punch Manfredo.

Awww.... tapi yang sedehnyeee... Jesse kalah ngan Gomez....!!!! It's indeed...sooo frustrating. I dunno why, Jesse, sejak kaLah ngan Sergio macam tak yakin je... I was hoping that he wouLd knock Gomez out... dia cuba, few times but...missed.

And...uuuwwwaaa!!! Manfredooooo!!!! I'm sooo... ntah La... sedeh La... Aku berharap sangat dia menang apaaaa....

Well, that's the end of it. Like it or not, The Latin Snake won... bukan tak suka...but... hmm...

Posted by setanq at 10:27 JST
Updated: Monday, 30 May 2005 10:30 JST
Tuesday, 24 May 2005
iNcOmpLete
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: incopLete - BackstReet bOys

Backstreet Boys - Incomplete

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

Posted by setanq at 14:28 JST
IkLan... ikLan...
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: mY bOo - ushEr feat aLicia kEys


Posted by setanq at 14:24 JST
cannibaLism
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Let me gO - 3 dOors dOwn
Topic: Nilai Kemanusiaan

Take a Look urseLf n think....










PEOPLE ... PEOPLE... CAN'T U HEAR THE CRIES??? THE PLEAD...??? THEY'RE SUPPOSE TO BE BURIED... BUKAN DI MAKAN... WHERE HAVE ALL THE LOVE GONE???? NILAI KEMANUSIAAN... MANUSIA DI JADIKAN KHALIFAH DI BUMI TAPI SEKARANG, NILAI KEMANUSIAAN LEBIH RENDAH DARI BINATANG....

Posted by setanq at 10:16 JST
Friday, 20 May 2005
tEars frOm hEaveN
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: hOLLaback GirL - gweN stEfaNi
Topic: Nilai Kemanusiaan
This story really really touched my heart.... take a deep breath before you view the pictures. You must read this first.

Dear Mommy,
I am in Heaven now... I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.

Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes
you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much.
One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean
monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so
scared,
I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe
you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was
screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.

Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I
would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.

I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now,
for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible
things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I
didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say to them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I
was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was
still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me away to a wonderful place... Then I was
happy. I asked the angel what was the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is;
I guess that's the name of the monster.
I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I
wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live.
I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It
sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't
want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the
kind of pain I did. Please be careful.

Love,
Your Baby Girl
PRO CHOICE??? DO YOU THINK THESE BABIES CHOSE TO DIE???
This Is Dedicated To The Memory Of All The Aborted Babies Throughout The World.
Please pass this on to as many people as u can.......if u have
a heart u will.........I sent it to u so u cuz I know u have a heart n
will send it to others, so that they will know what happens to their child and all the pain the baby goes through when they kill their baby.































Posted by setanq at 11:19 JST
Updated: Friday, 20 May 2005 11:21 JST
Thursday, 19 May 2005
One Of Those Days....
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Best Friend - Kiroro
Hmmm....apa nak cakap ekh... U saw the song title? Tgh pikir2... daLam ramai yang aku kenaL... sapa yang boLeh aku consider as best frend? I aLways said... owhh...this person is my best fren... n this person is my buddy and so on ....

And guess what...the ' best fren ' punya nama sentiasa berubah... menunjukkan ramainya org yang aku habiskan masa bersama2. Sampai kadang2 aku terpikir jugak...who is actuaLLy my best fren????
Or..yang penting skaLi? Do I have someone I can call best fren???

Dulu2...aku sLalu kata pada diri aku sendirik. Ahh... I dun need anyone... just my famiLy + my Lord n of course my seLf. I survive lama dengan kata2... until aku muLa buka mata n buka hati untuk menerima kehadiran orang Lain. N yaahhh.... waLaupun Lebih gemar bersendirian, I cant' denied the fact that I enjoyed luang masa dengan org. Dengan manusia Lain...

Hmm...kaLu ingat2 baLik kan... my worLd was my own room... pergi skooL..baLik n stay dLm biLik till next day... everyday for about 5 or 6 years.... or more... Lama gileeerr bertapa!!!!!

Hmm... actuaLL bukan ni yang aku nak cakapkan.
Maksud aku... is it me yang tak tau nak memahami orang dan bertoLak ansur or is it peopLe yang tak biasa dengar aku bersuara dan meLuahkan apa yang aku pendamkan. I can be a damn good listener to anybody... trust me. I'm a good listener.... cuma kadang2...apa yang aku dengar membebankan aku....
Like.....sighh... aku pun tak tau mcm mana nak ceritakan...

Kdg2...bila bersuara, lagi teruk keadaannya dari kekaL senyap... tapi, biLa dipendam seribu satu mcm perasaan dlm hati keciL yang tak mampu menampung segaLanya.... how.... aku tak mampu....

Tertekan giler.... aku tak tau nak meLuahkan pada siapa... n I'm confused..... confused abt Lots of things... my Life...my famiLy... n my spirituaL life...

I'm becoming less and less me.... sembahyang....
Lord...berdosanya aku...I'm confused... Yang mana satu???? Ikut hati?

My life had never been good.... aku tak tau La apa yg akan berlaku nanti dan hari2 akan datang. N aku tak tau sekuat mana aku nak menghadapi semua kegiLaan yang semakin Lama makin mengganggu...

But one thing... yang aku minta sangat2....

BiarLah samapi akhir nanti, aku dapat jawapan pada 1 pertanyaan yang sLama asyik berdendang daLam kepaLa hotak aku....

which is true... answer me God... can never trust anybody.... Aku dah hiLang segaLa-gaLanya....

- A sinfuL servant of Yours -

Posted by setanq at 15:26 JST
Updated: Friday, 20 May 2005 11:23 JST
Friday, 13 May 2005
Not Soooo Good
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Y Don't U & I - Santana
I'm bored... n ntah Ler.. try to caLL abang again tapi tak dapat jugak No answer. And... sekarang tengah browse deviant art... tengok karya orang. Seronok nih... I reaLLy admire Sue Anna Joe.... Aku suka n ... I dunno... her art... is awesome...
WeLL, here's a pic of me taken back in ApriL or March 2005 ...either two.. I dun reaLLy remember.

Look at how fat I am... sigh... dah baper Lama aku nak kurenggggkan sket Lemak but godaan demi godaan dari MAKANAN buat aku sLalu Lupa target aku...

Betapa lemahnya hati dan iman seorang hamba tuhan bernama MANUSIA.....!!!!!!




Posted by setanq at 15:01 JST

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